Fepe55

Woody Allen Jesus

Jesus was a Jewish philosopher
Had a lot of nice ideas
About our existential fears
Much admired by his peers

Short and Jewish and quite political
Often hesitant and very analytical
Praise be to Jesus
Praise be to Woody Allen Jesus (Woody Allen Jesus)

Jesus was a great entertainer
Doing cool tricks all of the time
Turning water into wine
Making stormy weather fine

Even now his stunts confound us
Kind of did what Derren Brown does
Praise be to Jesus
Praise be to magic Woody Allen Jesus (magic Woody Allen Jesus)

Jesus died but then came back to life
So the Holy Bible said
Kinda like in Dawn of Dead
Like a film by Simon Pegg

Try that these days, you would be in trouble
Geeks would try to smack you with a shovel
Praise be to Jesus
Praise be to magic Woody Allen zombie Jesus (magic Woody Allen zombie Jesus)

Jesus ascended into heaven
He was an incredible guy
You don’t often find fellows that fly
Disappear right into the sky

And only once did he use his ability
With great power comes great responsibility
Praise be to Jesus
Praise be to magic Woody Allen zombie Superman Jesus (Jesus)

Jesus’s mother gave birth to him
Without having sex with a dude
No, she would never be that rude
Never even be nude with a dude

Breeding without the opposite gender is
Commonly known as parthenogenesis
Other animals that don’t need males
Include a lot of lizards and various snails

Praise be to Jesus
Praise be to magic Woody Allen zombie Superman Komodo Dragon Jesus (Jesus)

Jesus can communicate with the deceased
Like psychic Sally
Jesus lives forever, which is pretty odd,
But not as odd as his fetish for drinking blood

Jesus is in more than one place at the time
Like an electron or Schrödinger’s feline
Jesus pulled off that water-walking miracle
He was as handy as an amphibious vehicle

Jesus had bare feet long hair and a beard
Look, I’m not saying is me
I’m not saying that I am Jesus
I’m not saying that I am Jesus… I am Jesus

Praise be to Jesus
Praise be to Woody Allen Jesus (Woody Allen Jesus)
Praise be to magic Woody Allen zombie Superman Komodo Dragon telepathic vampire quantum hovercraft me Jesus
Peace